Disregarding the Guarding

Experiencing pain from a romantic relationship can cause years of suffering, and turmoil for a person. I can admit that when I first found out about my ex-husband's infidelity I confessed that "I'D NEVER LEAVE MYSELF VULNERABLE AGAIN" I said time and time again, "I'll never put all my eggs in one basket". At the time I was hurt and emotional and felt the need to guard my heart and my emotions as a result of what had taken place in my relationship. After some time, I eventually attempted to give a relationship another try. BURNED AGAIN! I was manipulated, lied to, cheated on and yet again, I had opened my emotions up to a person that I felt was trustworthy of my heart. But this time, because I hadn't allowed myself to be totally "IN" I was able to walk away without the emotional baggage following. I then thought...By George I think I've got it! NEVER GO ALL THE WAY IN...then you'll never be hurt when it doesn't work. RIGHT!? WRONG....SOOOOOO WRONG!!!! That was part of the reason it didn't work...TOO GUARDED. Wouldn't let him in and he knew it!

Once I started to pray and ask God to heal me and to make me whole...I don't think that at that time I really realized exactly what I was praying for. Reading God's word and understanding it I began to understand that this is not the way to live. Yes, in Proverbs 4:23 the Bible says "Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life." And I believe that we should be guarded in all relationships, not just romantic ones. But we must also recognize that if we remain too guarded that there is no way that we can allow others to share the love, and adoration that we have to give.  Believing that you should only allow yourself to open your heart to "THE ONE" is deceptive. You can't shut down part of your heart and not shut down all of it. You can’t block all the negative emotions and still have enough space for the positive ones. It’s impossible to have a life overflowing with love in all areas when your heart is blocked up with fear and anxiety about being hurt, or hurt again.

At the root of any healthy, true relationship, at the heart of every heart, is VULNERABILITY. And vulnerability can’t exist when you are focused on living out a particular set of rules. I have come to recongize that the best relationships actually offer us the safety and love to explore the full human experience. We are given the opportunity to be present in all circumstances, even the uncomfortable ones. Relationships offer us opportunities to actively grow, to recover from pain, and pursue love. All relationships invite our hearts to walk through disappointment and joy. And if truth be told the more intimate the relationship, unfortunately the greater the disappointment BUT THE GREATER THE JOY!

I’ve experienced heartbreak and pain, disappointment and devastation. At times I have lost my faith. I have loved people who have hurt me. I have hurt people who have loved me. I am still walking out the difficult steps of particular grief and some days it hurts like HELL! But, through it all I’ve discovered that my heart is stronger than pain. My ability to wholeheartedly love and be loved is ever expanding. I feel so much joy, peace, affection, freedom from shame, and I have found a faith worth living out every day. I can proclaim my love without fear. I have a heart that is full of redemption, and I'll never allow the sufferings of my past hinder my future.

I choose today to have a heart that is unguarded and absolutely alive, and if you really want to be in healthy relationships, stop “guarding” your heart and start using it. Walk through the mistakes you will make and learn from them. TODAY IS THE DAY! Let's DISREGARD THE GUARDING!

Confessing Love from this day forward!
CeeRich