Happily Ever After

Thinking of all my loved ones that are preparing to be married and recently married, I think back on the day that I was married and the lack of knowledge I had about what I was entering into at such a young age. I have learned a LOT from my experience. Although my marriage was not a success, I guarantee you that I won't enter into another marriage with the same mindset as I had in the first. People tend to think that marriage is a mere fairy tale and that they will live HAPPILY EVER AFTER. Not understanding that marriage is a FULL-TIME JOB...It's work and can not be neglected.

I think about the women with their white gowns, flowers, make-up etc., in preparation for the day that they expect to cherish for the rest of their lives. The men in clean tuxedos and shinny shoes, fresh cut, clean shaven and smelling good...LOL! If only that was how the marriage would go. The reality of things is that the couple should dress in combat boots and army fatigues. Women should put their hair up in a pony tail and grease their faces with Vaseline. Magazines, movies and television shows has given the false perception that its all gonna be perfect...BUT its not. You must remember that marriage is an imperfect person, joining with another imperfect person. So why in the world do we expect them to be PERFECT???? It's never going to happen. Entering into marriage we must understand that it's two imperfect human beings that have love for one another and have made the conscious decision that they are going to get up everyday and still choose each other in spite of what they are going through. Even when it's a bad day, or a sad day, I STILL CHOOSE YOU! In a marriage you have to know that life happens and keep moving forward.

That's where me and my ex husband went wrong. We had unrealistic expectations for one another and when we failed to meet those expectations for one another it resulted in a whirlwind of hurt and resentment. Which resulted in the lost of love, respect, commitment and loyalty. Even in the Bible it tells us that we all sin and fall short of the glory of God. We ALL SIN AND FALL SHORT...including YOU!!!

So don't get me wrong...Marriage is beautiful and has so many benefits, and I myself desire to remarry one day. But I know that I won't be ignorant to Satan's devices, I'm all too familiar with his schemes. So I don't doubt that it's possible that in marriage there will be disappointment, anger, sadness, loneliness, or hurt. When those feelings are present I know to seek God the father and to lay my burdens upon him. I refuse to give in to Satan's plan to destroy my marriage, my self-confidence, my sanity (been there done that)....because we all know that the devil only comes to steal, kill and destroy.

Happily ever after isn't a fairy tale...It's simply a choice.

Love!

Joy Versus Happiness

On a quest to discover how I could be so at peace when there is clearly chaos all around, I realized that I have truly found the JOY OF THE LORD. I don't think I've ever really understood the scripture in Nehemiah 8:10 when he stated that "the joy of the Lord is your strength" He instructed the people to not be sad, because this was a day of the Lord. I look back over events in my life and it amazes me that even with all that I've been through and have experienced, nothing or no one can steal my joy. Now have I always been happy about what's taking place in my life...ABSOLUTELY NOT! But that's why we are to experience joy versus happiness, which is found in Christ.

One may ask, what's the difference? Happiness is a temporary emotional state of being. Happiness is experienced during contentment and satisfaction to something that is pleasing to one's flesh. Happiness is not permanent and does not bring about inward peace and contentment. However, JOY....OH JOY!!!! Joy is a state of being...NOT AN EMOTION. Joy is related to happiness, but it is a much deeper experience. Joy is beyond self and it connects us to that which is GREATER than we are or could ever be. We hear people say all the time..."I just want to be happy" and in the quest to find happiness they focus on themselves, but when someone wants to experience great joy they must move beyond the self-centered preoccupation and seek those things that will bring about an inward, spiritual satisfaction to not just themselves, but to others as well. I read somewhere a comparison that stated that "happiness is a solid and joy is a liquid". My interpretation is that happiness is momentarily and occurs in chunks and blocks at a time...its sporadic and not constant. But JOY on the other hand is free flowing, and constant once you have it it doesn't come and go based upon life's circumstances, its ALWAYS PRESENT.

Who wouldn't want to experience something like that?! I DO, AND I AM!!! Cause with all that I've been through...THE JOY OF THE LORD IS DEFINITELY MY STRENGTH!!!!

 Be Blessed!

Bearing the Cross

I was prepared for my divorce to be finalized and a new chapter in my life to begin. Unfortunately on September 19, my children's father and I were unable to come to an agreement and it was scheduled for pre-trial in February of 2014. TALK ABOUT SALTY! Oh yea...VERY SALTY!!! But I know that I'm doing what is best for my children and not what's ideal for me and what I so desperately want. So with that I questioned why all this was happening.

I was reading Isaiah 53 and it talks about how Jesus died for our sins so that we can again be reconciled with God after this life in earth. Jesus, he who is without sin carried and was weighted down by the sins of man and conquered death and the grave for a bunch of UNWORTHY sinners. The Bible says that we as Christians are to pick up our cross and follow him. We must DIE to out fleshly desires and be like Christ. We must be willing to sacrifice our lives and things we want and desire to follow Gods will and plan for our life. He knows the beginning from the end and we must trust that the end shall be much greater than we could have ever imagined! 

So when I question why things have happened the way that they've happened its obvious that I am carrying my cross, dying to my own selfish wants and desires and allowing God to speak to my heart and lead and guide my footsteps in the right direction. He's never failed me yet, why would he start now????

MORNING!

The Storm

So in the recent days I see that I have entered into another storm as the devil attempts to attack my mind and make me believe that trouble will last forever and that the God I serve doesn't love me, otherwise I would not have to endure the things that I am currently enduring. However a friend of mine created a CD for me a few months ago and while riding in my car the song came on and it was so fitting for my situation that it resonated in my spirit and I played in on repeat throughout my day. So today's blog entry in simply the lyrics to the song. ENJOY!

"I told the Storm"

Even though your winds blow I want you to know
 You cause me no alarm cause I'm safe in His arms
Even though your rain falls I can still make this call
Let there be peace now I can say go away
I command you to move today
 Because of faith I have a brand new day
The sun will shine and I will be okay
That's what I told the storm.

 I told the storm to pass storm, you cant last.
Go away, I command you to move today
Storm, when God speaks;
Storm, You have to cease.
That's what I told the storm.

 I told the storm (No weapons formed against me shall prosper I don't have to worry about a thing)
I told the storm (I'm more than a conqueror through Jesus Christ, and he's gonna bring me out alright)
I told the storm (It's amazing grace that's brought me safe thus far, and grace is gonna lead me home)
I told the storm (I stood on solid ground and told my storm and you need to tell your storm today).

 Wind stop blowing
Flood stop flowing
Lightening stop flashing
Breakers stop dashing
Darkness go away
Clouds move away
That's what I told the storm
Death can't take me
Job can't make me
Bills can't break me
Disease can't shake me
You won't drown me
My God surrounds me
That's what I told the storm

SPEAK TO YOUR STORM TODAY!

Evil doers

Last night as I was walking into my home a woman attacked me for reasons I'm unsure of. I don't for one minute believe that this was not a direct attack of the enemy to take me out yet again or at least set me up to take myself out of the game. But I'm reassured that NO WEAPON FORMED AGAINST ME WILL PROSPER! I know who my enemy is and it's not the lady who attacked me, nor the person who was behind the malicious event but the devil and his tactics! But he must know that it's not gonna work to take me away from my purpose and destiny. I WIN IN EVERY SITUATION because I have God on my side. Vengeance is mine saith The Lord, so I'll turn this too over to The Lord and allow him to fight all my battles!

Love!

Only what you do for Christ will last

I'm reminded today of a saying that my Grandmother would frequently say "Only what you do for Christ will last". As I check my motivation for the things I do I ponder is God getting the glory from this particular thing in my life...if not, what is it good for? Sometimes we read things and hear things but don't meditate to take Gods word and allow it to saturate our spirit. 

Recently a chain of events have taken place that unbeknownst to me was designed to TAKE ME OUT...in various areas of my life. My initial revelation of these events brought about anger, confusion, fear, and anxiety. None of which are emotions that God intended me to experience. I had to stop and think for a minute and remind myself that regardless of the tactics of the enemy I serve a God that loves me and will not allow any weapon formed against me to defeat me. My reaction could have been to act out...but I instead chose to pray. And that's what God expects from us because He is here to fight against the enemy on our behalf. Don't believe me? 

Psalms 37 reads: "Don’t worry about the wicked or envy those who do wrong. For like grass, they soon fade away. Like spring flowers, they soon wither. Trust in the Lord and do good. Then you will live safely in the land and prosper. Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires. Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him, and he will help you. He will make your innocence radiate like the dawn, and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun. Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act. Don’t worry about evil people who prosper or fret about their wicked schemes. Stop being angry! Turn from your rage! Do not lose your temper— it only leads to harm. For the wicked will be destroyed, but those who trust in the Lord will possess the land. Soon the wicked will disappear. Though you look for them, they will be gone. The lowly will possess the land and will live in peace and prosperity. The wicked plot against the godly; they snarl at them in defiance. But the Lord just laughs, for he sees their day of judgment coming. The wicked draw their swords and string their bows to kill the poor and the oppressed, to slaughter those who do right. But their swords will stab their own hearts, and their bows will be broken. It is better to be godly and have little than to be evil and rich. For the strength of the wicked will be shattered, but the Lord takes care of the godly. Day by day the Lord takes care of the innocent, and they will receive an inheritance that lasts forever. They will not be disgraced in hard times; even in famine they will have more than enough. But the wicked will die. The Lord ’s enemies are like flowers in a field— they will disappear like smoke. The wicked borrow and never repay, but the godly are generous givers. Those the Lord blesses will possess the land, but those he curses will die. The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand. Once I was young, and now I am old. Yet I have never seen the godly abandoned or their children begging for bread."

So when we are operating in God and according to His perfect plan and will for our lives He will continue to take care of us. He will take care of those who attempt to bring us down as well and continue to remove those hindrances from our lives...the Bible says that they'll disappear and we'd wonder whatever happened to...? So as believers we must make sure that we are doing the will of God and all will be taken care of. Do you believe it? I DO!

Be Blessed!

A Beautiful Suprise

Entering into this day, I stated earlier in the week that I was unsure of how I would feel. Given that this day is almost over and I am preparing to go to bed, I reflect on this day. It started with a text from a mutual friend of mine and my soon-to-be ex-spouse that stated "Happy 9th year wedding anniversary" I replied "really!?" and he stated "Y'all are still married". Which is the truth. Originally I thought that I would be haunted by the thoughts of my failed marriage and would experience some type of anxiety, anger, sadness, loneliness...SOMETHING! But I didn't. After the initial shock of the unexpected text message, I continued on as if it were a normal day. I found myself attempting to be sad about the situation at the time, but quickly reminded myself of how much God has done for me in spite of my current marital status. I reminded myself that all things work together for the good of those who love God and immediately dismissed the spirit of sadness and depression that could have overtaken me today. Who would've thought that on a day where you expected that you'd possibly be an emotional wreck would turn out to be peaceful, productive and fulfilling....WHAT A BEAUTIFUL SUPRISE!

I read today that "We are not defined by our past failures or by disappointment, or by the rejection of others. We are defined as children of God, born again to newness of life and endowed with every spiritual blessing and accepted into Jesus Christ." This is what gives us the victory in our daily walk with Christ. I am walking according to my faith in Jesus Christ instead of being driven by my emotions.

I don't know for certain all that God has in store for me, but I trust Him. And so I decided today even if it hurts or feels uncomfortable that I will continue to trust God. Even when I don't understand, I'll trust God. Even when its difficult, I'll trust God! Because He knows the plans He has for me! So I continue to love my life and everyone in it!

Stay Blessed!

Child Custody Agreements: Advice from a Mom Who Learned Her Lesson

As I get closer and closer to my court hearing I have been battling back and forth on how to handle the custody disagreements that I have with my spouse. I ran across this article and it helped me. Although I feel that I am doing what is in the best interest of my children, my spouse feels that I'm being vindictive and spiteful. I have been fasting and asking that God remove all selfish desires from my heart and for Him to allow me to see things His way so that His will is done not according to my own satisfaction. I just want to do what is best for my kids...and NOTHING MORE!

Take a look at another woman's story:
Child Custody Agreements: Advice from a Mom Who Learned Her Lesson

Are you a Luster or a Lover?

Often times people misunderstand the difference of lusting after and loving another person. True love is identified as a choice to love and extend trust to another person whom we understand is imperfect. To expect that anyone whom you are in relationship with will be perfect is INSANE! to say the least.

When a person is filled with lust there is a strong desire for selfish gain and compensation for what the other lacks in their life. Lust is not something that screams LONGEVITY, because when things get tough lust will be first to go.

Entering into a relationship people must recognize that they must first identify are they doing it for the RIGHT reasons. Is it the choice to love? Or a lustful desire that is longing for companionship at any cost.

Introduction

I would first like to introduce myself and let you know who am I am the reason behind the start of this blog. I am a 29 year old female that is currently experiencing dramatic life changes, but through my life changes I have decided that I would recommit to the greater cause and rededicate my life to Christ. I am serious about my soul and the purpose that God has for my life, as well as the souls of those that I was sent here to reach through my testimony.

As I look at the calendar and I identify that tomorrow is September 11th and so many people identify tragedy with this date given what occurred in 2001. I for other reasons have another association with this date as it would mark 9 years of marriage with the spouse that I am currently divorcing. I have mixed feeling about what I will feel tomorrow. Although others will mourn the lost of loved ones, and injured heroes etc. I will be remembering that life as I have known it for the last 9 years will come to an end as of September 19, 2013. After 9 years of marriage just 8 days after we should have celebrated the joys of being married, we will stand before a judge and swear under oath that our marriage is irretrievably broken.

I have used writing as a form of healing, and I believe that others can benefit from the things that I have experienced and will experience going forward. I read several blogs and articles concerning divorce, remarriage, etc. and I found them helpful during my time of need. So I trust and believe that there are people out there who seek this information and can be blessed through my trials and my triumphs. One thing that I have learned for sure is that I AM NOT ALONE!

Until next time...sincerely,

CeeRich