The Present

It's been a minute since I contributed to my blog but I know that I was created to encourage others through my writing and I had become discouraged and self conscious about my abilities as an author. But I'm back!!!! And this is what has been laid on my heart....

I had dinner with a friend who reminded me that when living in the past, it is our attempt to keep ourselves from experiencing hurt, disappointment, etc. And at the same time it hinders us from being able to enjoy the PRESENT! As we continue to tell ourselves "oh I'll never let that happen to me again" we occupy ourselves with trying to control the world around us instead of taking things one day at a time. We should take life as it comes and not hold on to the idea that we "might" get hurt. I am guilty of this, but from this day forward I vow to live in the present. I can't allow my past experience keep me from experiencing something GREAT! With that mindset you put on the spirit of PRIDE even thinking that for one minute you are in control of your life... GUESS WHAT???!!! You're not...God is in control of all things and there is a lesson in every blessing...so we shouldn't take any experience for granted! Pride is a silent killer...people think that they are protecting themselves but actually robbing themselves of the "NOW" by trying to control the past and the future. FROM THIS DAY FORWARD I'LL LIVE FOR THE NOW...BECAUSE I KNOW WHO HAS THE POWER...and it ain't me!!! Stay blessed!!!!!

CeeRich

Loneliness VS Being Alone

Being alone and loneliness are two different things. Recently I have been spending time alone and during my alone time I identified how being alone felt different now, than it felt months ago. It made me realize that there is a difference between being lonely and being alone. I started to write down what it felt like when I experienced loneliness. Here is the list I came up with:

•Lack
•Something is missing
•Depression
•Emptiness
•Incompleteness
•Isolation

I have studied Psychology for the last several years and I have a better understanding that loneliness is a state of mind. Loneliness is an emotion brought on by feelings of separation from other human beings. Loneliness is the feeling that you are alone in the world and that no one cares or is concerned about you. You can be in a house full of people and still be lonely, you can lay next to your spouse every night and still experience loneliness. Loneliness is isolation that is felt very deeply to an individual. Loneliness lead me to attempt suicide, loneliness lead me to react irresponsibly, loneliness lead me to believe that my situation would never change and that NO ONE WOULD EVER UNDERSTAND! Loneliness is a tactic used by the enemy to fulfill his mission to STEAL, KILL & DESTROY!



I have been delivered from the spirit of loneliness, and there are times that I am alone so I jotted down how I felt experiencing my ALONE TIME:

•Fullness
•Completeness
•Freedom to do what you want
•Aliveness
•Expansion
•Being enough


I am a witness that feelings of loneliness leave you feeling empty, hurt, and stagnant. In order to move from loneliness to feelings of being alone, you have to understand that being by yourself is not saying you are not worthy. It is, however, an opportunity to appreciate yourself, grow, and evolve. Use that alone time to get to know yourself again and to develop a relationship with God. Utilize this time to meditate, read your Bible, open up to God about your fears, your flaws and your desires. James 4:8 says "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded."

The Bible also says in Romans 8:28 "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them."
So God can use your loneliness as an opportunity to draw you even closer to him. Learning to be fulfilled with ourselves in his presence. Hearing from Him concerning our lives without interruption. Isn't God AWESOME!? That even during dark periods he can turn it around and make it work for your good. That's why I serve Him...trust Him, and love Him. There is no one like Him in all the world.

If you are experiencing loneliness as a Christian the Bible tells us in Romans 12:2  That we are not to be conformed to this world, "but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God." We have to set our minds on the things of God, and continue in our faith and not operate based upon what we can see and feel emotionally. We must Trust that in every situation, God is with us and that he will never leave nor forsake us.

It's your choice how you feel. Will you be alone or feel lonely?


Love!

Season of Uncertainty

Uncertainty is the state of being uncertain; the instance of doubt or hesitancy; unpredictability; indefiniteness.

Have you ever thought to yourself: "I'm not where I used to be, but I'm not where I'm going"? Have you ever felt that you're not even sure where you are right now?

Uncertainty is that middle place of connection between origination and destination. During these times you are faced with storms, delays, stress, apprehension, insecurity, fear, doubt. But be mindful that Jesus too was faced with a moment of uncertainty while in the Garden at Gethsemane. In Matthew 26:39 Jesus prays saying "O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt."

Uncertainty will often cause you to question yourself, and sometimes God, especially when it appears that you have entered into a time of suffering. But we must remember that we have all suffered, cried, questioned or felt victimized by something or someone at some point in our lives. And these are the times to fight back and continue to weather the storm and trust God! SCREAMING: "LORD NOT MY WILL, BUT YOUR WILL BE DONE!" Because truth be told it's not about me or you, but to God be ALL the Glory!

Introduction

I would first like to introduce myself and let you know who am I am the reason behind the start of this blog. I am a 29 year old female that is currently experiencing dramatic life changes, but through my life changes I have decided that I would recommit to the greater cause and rededicate my life to Christ. I am serious about my soul and the purpose that God has for my life, as well as the souls of those that I was sent here to reach through my testimony.

As I look at the calendar and I identify that tomorrow is September 11th and so many people identify tragedy with this date given what occurred in 2001. I for other reasons have another association with this date as it would mark 9 years of marriage with the spouse that I am currently divorcing. I have mixed feeling about what I will feel tomorrow. Although others will mourn the lost of loved ones, and injured heroes etc. I will be remembering that life as I have known it for the last 9 years will come to an end as of September 19, 2013. After 9 years of marriage just 8 days after we should have celebrated the joys of being married, we will stand before a judge and swear under oath that our marriage is irretrievably broken.

I have used writing as a form of healing, and I believe that others can benefit from the things that I have experienced and will experience going forward. I read several blogs and articles concerning divorce, remarriage, etc. and I found them helpful during my time of need. So I trust and believe that there are people out there who seek this information and can be blessed through my trials and my triumphs. One thing that I have learned for sure is that I AM NOT ALONE!

Until next time...sincerely,

CeeRich